Supernatural (television show) is currently eating my brain. It's more fun than it has any right to be.
I'm not sure how I missed Supernatural, but I totally did. It existed happily in fandom without having ever hit my radar until December. Because of the power of internet, however, I have a record of how it happened. I was talking to Alyse in Facebook.
Alyse: why read not-porn when you could read porn? i spend all my time reading shit people consider classic lit, if i don't have to read that i want to read the most unintellectual thing possible
Me: Because I want better porn than there is. Because a lot of shit I read has been written by horny sixteen year olds who, to be honest, do not know a whole lot about, say, blowjobs. I know an enormous amount about blowjobs* and it irritates me when they're written by people with no actual experience regarding same. Plus also I can tell.
Alyse: yes tell me more about rippleing abdominal muscles, adopted children, and awkward first dates. hahaha i know almost nothing about blow jobs so i do not have this problem
Me: If I am reading your fic and going "Yeah, you've never actually done this" you are failing as an author.
Alyse: i do hate it when you can't tell what position they're in or if that position is actually physically possible
Me: Legs don't bend that way!!
Me: I think visual porn (like filmed) is hysterical because of how the people have to be posed so that the camera can see the "important" bits.
Alyse: hahah truth
Me: It's so awkward.
Alyse: also the faces
Me: <-- totally not getting anything done at work today. And the echo-y noises because this is being filmed in an empty house/room with dirty floors. Porn outtakes are fun, though.
Alyse: i just finished the very last thing for one of my classes so i'm riding that high. oh my god that exisits? porn outakes is thing?
Me: (was watching gay (dude) porn a while back and the outtake dialogue was a LOT better than the voiceover shit)
Alyse: HOW DID I MAKE IT TO 23 AND NOT KNOW
Me: Hysterical. "Two hundred bucks if you let him fuck you harder." "Slap his ass again." Lulz.
Alyse: who do i give my money to?
Me: I'll see if I can pull up the link. I think I saw it on fleshbot about six years ago, but very pretty. (many penises. I did say that this was gay porn, right?)
Alyse: it might be worth it for the comic effect, few things are funnier than penises
Me: And like tv show "reality" how real is it anyway? But it was good fun.
Alyse: also the tumblr is good for porns if you can deal with the format of the site
Me: http://gay.fleshbot.com/5115418/pat-bateman-should-lose-his-porn-career-over-this-video see what that does -- looks like it's still live.
Alyse: i should have read the link before i opened that in the library. sorry people sitting behind me.
Me: I thought you'd kind of notice that it was about porn. Gay porn. That we've been talking about this whole time. and you'll need sound. But it is funny.
Alyse: you would think that wouldn't you? not the case though
Me: I'm still enjoying mocking the hell out of Sleepy Hollow (good times!) and enjoying the gratuitous shirtlessness of Arrow. It's so... wholesome.
Alyse: i've been curious about Arrow
Me: Arrow is a CW effort, so superhero plot with sops to youngish female fandom. It's doing a reasonable job of it.
Alyse: I love Supernatural in a way that is.. not natural so i am more willing given the cwness of it
Me: I haven't seen that one yet.
Alyse: WATCH SUPERNATURAL
Me: I also have a soft spot for superhero-ic stories.
Alyse: you will not be sorry. it is superhero-esque even if not directly.
demons, angels, hunky dudes
Me: Like, I don't have any trouble believing that a dude can get away with wearing what is basically a leather hoodie and some green eye shadow yet nobody notices he's the tabloid-favorite rich boy.
Alyse: no female love intrests
Me: female love interests are not particularly interesting to me.
Alyse: well if your suspension of belief is that strong, get on the supernatural band wagon
Me: (One of the major reasons all the Arrow pr0n is disappointing is that they keep having him fuck women.)
Alyse: hahah don't worry, supernatural is literally the most homoerotic thing i've ever seen
Me: (Boring. Don't like Laurel. Do like Felicity but we're not going to get that in any way I will find satisfactory.)
Alyse: be ware though. some of the porn is the two brothers. so.
Me: Lol. I laugh at your concern for me. Seriously, that one actually got an out-loud snicker.
Alyse: wincest squicks me out
Me: I do like be ware is two words, though. Sounds more olde-worlde and impressively portentious that way.
Alyse: it will be ickier to you when you understand their relationship
Me: Don't worry about me overmuch.
****(Time passes, in which television is watched.)
Me: supernatural. Are they doing this on *purpose*? It practically writes itself...
Alyse: Yes. Just wait till season 4. You wouldn't even believe. The fic writes itself
Me: it's already angst-o-licious. I am waiting for dinner roll dough to rise, watching tv until my eyes bleed. (wrapped up season 2 today, in which I yelled at the screen repeatedly and explained to nobody in particular that winchester family dynamics are totally screwed up.)
Me, again: straight dudes just don't angstfully gaze at each other that much. Also, I have two brothers who have four years between them. I know a lot about what brothers are like. This isn't it.
Me: I am not complaining, just stating for the record that it doesn't look like any brothers I actually know. (Cass's brothers Waylie and Evan resemble mine and not the spn dudes.) but yes, it's getting funner as I go along.
On Castiel: He's delightful. Has gotten less dick-ish as things have progressed. (He's offed Uriel, Lilith is dead, and we're reunited the boys, so early in 5. Cas is currently briefing me about the antichrist. Whoopie cushions are involved. Cas really needs clothing besides the trenchcoat. Does he own other clothes?
Alyse: Hahahahaha No we love the trench plus the god clean it
Me: I think he needs like paper doll outfits. And he's got great posture.
Alyse: Divine isn't it?
Me: I'm having a good time. The pop culture nods are fun. The dialogue is appropriately snarky. Sam (my Sam, not the one on the show) is a bit concerned about my enthusiasm, but he'll work it out. Oh, and he's an action figure now. Cas.
* On re-reading, this is probably a bit of an overshare, but we are on the internet. Besides pictures of cats, oversharing is what the internet is for.